Voice test

[philosophicalzombie]

-1-


[The mecha hangar! In some kind of RP setting that has a mecha hangar, or at least somewhere where mechs hang out.]

[A girl seems to have wandered in and is now in the middle of a spirited and apparently one-sided conversation with one of the mechs. Maybe it's yours. The mech is just standing there, as mechs tend to do when nobody is piloting them.]

[She doesn't seem to have noticed you. Eavesdrop? Interrogate?]


-2-


[For any character with an even slightly androgynous voice. Appearance unrelated.]

Excuse me!

We have known each other for a while now, and... uh. I have a question.

Please don't be offended by my question. It is not because any part of you is hard to understand, okay? Okay.

Are you a boy or a girl?


-3-


[In the aftermath of some kind of gruesome event! Your character was grievously wounded, to the point of losing consciousness, in whatever kind of battle or crisis occurred. Now, when you regain consciousness, something seems wrong.]

[Oh, that's it. Your body is scattered in pieces all over the floor. You are in such a state of disassembly that you can't move properly. And yet, there is no blood, no pain, and all your bodily systems seem to be working correctly. Even if your head isn't attached to your body (leaving the extent of the disassembly to player discretion), you can still breath and talk normally.]

[Yukari waves as you wake up. She is holding a screwdriver in one had and a pair of pliers in the other.]

Oh, good, you're awake!

Don't worry, everything's fine. I'll have you fixed in no time at all.

Comments

3

[vote_beeblebrox]

[I guess this model came with some extra parts. All of Zaphod is lying on the ground in pieces. His heads are facing each other. After coming to, they stare at each other for a minute.]

That must've been a hell of a drink.

[philosophicalzombie]

The drink exploded! You really shouldn't drink things like that. What if you had died?

[It looks like he gave dying an honest effort here, judging by the pieces.]

[vote_beeblebrox]

Ideally I would have been too drunk to notice.

[philosophicalzombie]

Well, I hope it worked.

[One of your heads is on the move now.]

Does this one go on the left or the right? I've never seen a two-headed type before.

[vote_beeblebrox]

The left...No wait, the right!

I'm starting to feel like something isn't quite right here...

[philosophicalzombie]

Please try to ignore that feeling for just a little longer!

[Via careful precision and extremely unclear methods, Zaphod Beeblebrox's right head is reattached to his torso. Now for the left...]

[vote_beeblebrox]

Ah Zarq, my right.

[philosophicalzombie]

Oh! I'm sorry!

[Decaptiated again, then reattached again. This is truly the strangest of hangovers.]

[vote_beeblebrox]

Either that's someone else's arm lying over there, or I'm lying in a pile of body parts on the ground.

[philosophicalzombie]

...Will you panic if I say that you're lying in a pile of body parts on the ground?

[vote_beeblebrox]

I don't know. No one has ever told me I was lying in a pile of body parts on the ground before.

[philosophicalzombie]

You're lying in a pile of body parts on the ground.

1/2

[vote_beeblebrox]

[Processing...]

2/2

[vote_beeblebrox]

Nope, nothing.

[philosophicalzombie]

Really? I'd think most people would panic when they heard that.

[vote_beeblebrox]

Yeah that's what I'd think too.

[philosophicalzombie]

Well, that's good! I'm almost finished.

[And that's the second head back in place. Just a couple of limbs left.]

1

[invinstructor]

[A bobble-headed, robed figure with tentacles is wandering along, examining the mechs from top to bottom. His smile remains static, but his face is changing colors every now and then.

Oh, if it isn't a girl. She's about the age of his students.]

... Um. Miss. Exactly who are you talking to? Is there someone here that my naked eye can't see?

1/2

[philosophicalzombie]

Ah! No! I was just... I mean...

[Quick, think of a convincing lie!]

2/2

[philosophicalzombie]

I was talking to that robot.

[That wasn't a lie at all, Yukari!]

1

[infinitejustice]

[Well. Uh. That's the first time Athrun's seen anyone talking to the Infinite Justice.]

Uh...why are you trying to talk to my mobile suit?

[philosophicalzombie]

[OH HEY it's a smaller type. Looks a lot like Infinite Justice, though. Probably a human, maybe the pilot?]

[Well, Yukari isn't feeling particularly secretive today.]

Because he has so many stories to tell!

Are you two, uh...

[Gotta be careful about word choice here. First instinct is 'brothers', but that would just raise some hard-to-answer questions.]

...connected?

[infinitejustice]

...Stories?

[Athrun would ask if she had been looking at the Infinite Justice's flight recorder, but he personally made sure that'd be nigh impossible unless one knew the password or had exceptional hacking talent, even by Coordinator standards.]

Connected? Well, the mobile suit does belong to me. I'm its chief pilot.

[philosophicalzombie]

Oh! That makes sense. You're a lot alike, after all.

[infinitejustice]

You think my mobile suit and I are alike? How so?

1/2

[philosophicalzombie]

Well you're both realtypes with more angular designs and aerial frames, and that faceplate is...

2/2

[philosophicalzombie]

...I think I just said something I shouldn't have.

[infinitejustice]

[Just.

Staring.]

...Uh.

[Sorry, he's been rendered speechless.]

[philosophicalzombie]

Okay... Okay, that's something I guess you should know about me. Whenever I look at people, I see them as robots. I don't even know what a human looks like.

Is that weird?

[infinitejustice]

Um...I'm not sure I understand. I mean, you're looking at me right now, and I'm a human.

[philosophicalzombie]

Yeah, that's your perception. But for me...

[Yukari points at Athrun's arms, shoulders, and face in turn.]

Beam saber holster compartment. Flight pack attachment point and armored pauldrons. Dual-camera humanoid type faceplate.

[infinitejustice]

...So. Wait.

You literally see people as mobile suits. How is that even possible?

[philosophicalzombie]

I know it seems impossible, but try to consider it from a different perspective.

There are two interpretations of the world we both live in. One is the one you perceive, where humans are organic creatures. The other is the one I perceive, where humans are mechanical. The world you perceive is just as real to you as the other is to me. Similarly, the world I perceive is as impossible to imagine to you as the world you perceive is to me.

So who's to say which one is real? If you accept that yours is real just because it's the one that everyone else in the world sees, then you have to accept that reality is determined by consensus. A viewpoint being unpopular, no matter the extent, doesn't invalidate the possibility of it being correct. Only proof does that, and perception is impossible to prove.

I've never once believed that the world I see isn't real.

2

[silver_successor]

Which do you think I look like?

[philosophicalzombie]

Oh! Um! Which is it, I wonder!

It's not like your appearance is confusing! I'm just not very sensitive to this sort of thing. I really, honestly can't tell, at all.

[silver_successor]

I get asked rather frequently, actually, so you don't have to spare my feelings. Whether I'm a man or a woman, does it really matter?

[philosophicalzombie]

Th-That's a good question! I mean, it seems like an important difference, but when you really think about it, it doesn't matter at all, does it?

2

[he_come_to_town]

[Well, like most young boys in non-live-action media, Link is of course voiced by a woman.]

How many times do I have to say it's not a skirt?

[philosophicalzombie]

You're wearing a skirt?

I mean, it isn't?

[he_come_to_town]

It's just a long tunic, see?

[He yanks it up, revealing shorts underneath. Because short shorts are a lot manlier, right?

Clearly Link has gotten to the bottom of this on behalf of all involved parties.]

[philosophicalzombie]

...so...

[Yukari basically has no idea what Link is going on about, but.]

...So you're a boy, then?

[he_come_to_town]

Uh... yeah.


...Why were you actually confused?

[philosophicalzombie]

[All right, let's try a different tactic than usual: Dramatic and frank honesty.]

That's because!

All living things look like robots to me, so I can't tell the difference!

[he_come_to_town]

You...

[he_come_to_town]

What's a robot?

1/2 multi-comment responses are back in style

[philosophicalzombie]

What's a... oh.

[This will be hard. Hmm.]

2/2

[philosophicalzombie]

I guess a robot is like... a person, but made of metal and with machines instead of organs?

[he_come_to_town]

Uh... huh. So... everyone looks to you like they're wearing armor?

[philosophicalzombie]

Yes! Sort of! Except instead of armor, it's their entire body.